2 weeks..

I Gave but it hurts..

Love...Man

By Jason Mae..

The 5 Pillars of Manhood…

1. Lead - A man must be a leader in a relationship, in a marriage, in a family. There are no excuses. A woman doesn’t want to make the decisions for her man, she wants her man to lead in the relationship. A man must take initiative. A man of God is leader, not a follower, a servant, not a slave, a hero not a coward. A man of God knows God and therefore knows himself. He should be the leader spiritually first, emotionally, mentally and physically he should set the standard for others to follow.

2. Protect - A real man of God will protect his partner. That means he is willing to lay down his very own life, needs and wants for the protection of the one he loves. Every decision he makes when it comes to a relationship has her protection in mind. A woman needs to feel secure, that she is protected and safe with her man. She doesn’t need to second guess, wonder if she will be okay, or have her heart and mind played with. A real man of God will not only protect his woman physically, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually. He always has the highest good in his mind for her safety, well being and wholeness. This is for the Christian guys out there, don’t emotionally rape a sister, play with her heart and tell her you are just her brother or friend. That is BS. Man up. You either pursue a woman of God because she is God’s precious creation, or you don’t try touching it at all, or play with their hearts emotionally, unless you are willing to be up front and clear with your intentions and the direction of the relationship from the start. Emotional rape is as painful to a woman as physical rape. Women are emotional beings and their hearts are not to be played with. Protect your sisters heart.

3. Provide – A real man of God will do whatever it takes to provide for his significant other. That means monetarily in finances, in basic needs and as well as what she desires. When a man asks a father for his daughter in marriage, the father will not ask, “How are you doing spiritually first?” No, the first thing the father will ask is, “How will you provide for my daughter?” Because part of being and becoming a man is providing for others, especially your wife and children. If a man can’t provide, he isn’t a man. God gave us hands and we must put our hands to work, no excuses to be lazy, God made us to rule the earth. Women are not be treated as toys, trophies or a luxury item, women are God’s highest creation, the very image of God.

I tell men all the time, “Treat your woman like a queen and you will live like a king.” Don’t be cheap brothers, you need to go all out when it comes to pursuing a woman. This is not a one time thing, but a continual practice. Women were created for beauty. They were created beautiful, to feel beautiful to be treated beautiful. You don’t handle a rose without care, it is the same with a woman of God, you treat her with the utmost care, honor and respect. Practically, that means you don’t take a woman to Denny’s on a first date, you take her to a place that hurts your wallet, but it’s worth it because she is worthy.

Also, men must also provide for women emotionally. When a women asks you, “How are you doing?” She is really asking, “How are you being?” Meaning, what are you feeling, thinking, seeing, being about at the moment. To love a women we must provide at every level – basic needs all the way to providing for them mentally, emotionally and spiritually, if not their hearts will die. Be a man, provide for your women.

4. Integrity – A true man of God is a man of his word. Too many men in our culture break promises, play with women’s hearts, date girls as if it was a game, and have no respect for women at all. This is disgusting. In old times, when a man said “You have my word!” that word was bond, it was as if an actual contract had been written, because your word was your reputation. How many men do we know today who say one thing, but do another? Men who do not keep their word, their promise or follow through with their verbal commitments. In our culture we don’t take words seriously, but in God’s world words are everything. Blessings and curses come out of the same mouth. What comes out of our mouths determines what is truly in our hearts.

What a woman wants is a man of integrity. Someone who says what he does and does what he says. Someone they can trust at their word. So as a man you must come through. Words means nothing if they are not backed up with action. Don’t say sorry unless you mean it. Don’t say sorry unless you are able to back up your apologies with doing the right thing. Integrity is doing what is right, whether people are watching or not. Integrity is what you do when no one is looking. Does your woman trust you completely? If not, it is a question of integrity. Don’t tell a women you love her unless your love shows, words carry weight. They either carry false weight or real weight, a woman knows when a man means what he says.

So live by your words, live by action, be a living proof of your values, convictions and commitments. Don’t get involved in a relationship unless you are sure this what you want and what God is leading you both to do. I’ve had my share of mistakes in the past, where I got into a relationship without thinking about the consequences, protecting my sisters heart and the fear of the Lord from the get go, I’ve had to make amends and face the results of my sin and foolishness. Trust me brothers, don’t do what I’ve done in the past, don’t play games, don’t feed your fleshly desires, rather seek God, seek the best interest of the one you are pursuing, be honest, forthright from the start about your commitment and your vision for the relationship and stick to your word. Be a man of integrity.

If you pursue a women, it should be with the intentions of marriage. If not, stop playing yourself and her. It’s not about finding the right woman, it’s about being the right man. That starts with first knowing God in order to know yourself, then you will know how to love and respect a woman.

5) Courage - You are not a man until you climb the great wall of China! This is what it says at the actual great wall. Well, I have climbed the Great Wall of China so I guess I must be more of a man than others, just kidding. What is the greater underlying message here? It is a message of courage. It is a message of adventure. A man of God is a man of courage, a man of adventure, a man who is willing to take risks and do the impossible. Men were born to live a life of great adventure. Men were created to fight battles. Men were created to rescue beauties. Men were created to live.

Sadly, most men are not living. Most men are cowards, fearful and afraid of failure. Imprisoned by their own thinking and what others think about them. Many men are just boys waiting for their mother’s approval, or the approval of others in society. Most men I know are people pleasers, not God pleasers. They are more afraid of how others may reject them or not accept them if they choose to take the road less traveled.

All men die, few men truly live.

Which Is You??? 

MANHOOD and CHRIST-LIKENESS are synonymous ... remember that..

Yours truly,

Amos Ignatius Susau

G D/F#m Em C

I'm Still Yours 


If You washed away my vanity
If You took away my words
If all my world was swept away
Would You be enough for me?
Would my beating heart still sing?

If I lost it all
Would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives and takes away

If You take it all
This life You've given
Still my heart will sing to You

When my life is not what I expected
The plans I made have failed
When there's nothing left to steal me away
Will You be enough for me?
Will my broken heart still sing?

If I lost it all
Would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives
And takes away

If You take it all
This life You've given
Still my heart
Will sing to You

Even if You take it all away
You’ll never let me go
Take it all away
But I still know

That I'm Yours
I'm still Yours

Oh, I'm Yours
I'm still Yours
I'm still Yours

© 2009 Kutless










Gonna get rooted in ELIM church from now onwards.. Reminded me of New Life Restoration Centre in Kota Kemuning when i was in INTEC. Not the most happening church but definitely a family and student based church where smiles and laughter are ever present. Learnt something today, ' your hands are quick and good, but it needs precision and you need patience'. 

exactly 1 month before i leave dunedin.. time flies and so the pressure is increasing .. exams are in 3 weeks... buck up!! 


so much on my mind especially holiday plans.. what can i do to not waste any time.. at least do something that is worthwhile.. 


Disappointed at the test at sim today. Concentrate !! You are gonna be a great dentist .. and you will edify God's name.. Amen!!








your sincerely,
Amos Ignatius Susau

Its not blind

Why don't the small things matter?? 
A building structure is only as strong as how well the tiny tiny molecules and bonds work in a concrete slab.. 
5 days of reflection for me.. boy am i glad... well God is on my priorities now and will always be.. 
prayer and my quiet time.. 

a simple hello on my wall or on anything wouldn't hurt i guess.. but you don't want the world to know.. it was like a deal i made and you are trying to make me taste my own actions.. make things sound as if im forcing you.. things change and if u cant put a bit of effort in changing, i will change and i will go with the flow.. and that i can promise..

u know me more than anyone else or maybe i am wrong.. but you know once i've made a decision, i will make it..

your truly,
Amos Ignatius Susau

=)

CARRY ME - HILLSONG

You lead me in to Your courts
Surround me with Your love
I walk with You
I do not fear

In this place
Dreams are made
In this place
Where You are
Carry me here
In Your arms of love
Draw me close to You
I want to be where You are
I want to be where You are

You carry me, You are my strength
I've learnt to trust in You
And once again
I'm reaching out 


© 2000 Hillsong Music Australia

whats your Goliath?

God invests in someone who has passion..
do u have it??

Past,Prayer,Priority,Passion,Persistence... the 5 P's needed to overcome your challenges..
Set the 5 P's plus God as the centre, your goliaths will be slayed one by one..

Was just thinking about what i would want to venture into after graduating.. Definitely want to be a specialist but which one? politics? other business? to go back to Malaysia or not? Continue being a drummer?
Tough thoughts and im still searching for answers.. Those definitely are my Goliaths now..

I have got one more till i leave for Malaysia and i am quite excited. but i realised that time passes so fast .. it was just like a week ago i have set foot on nz and now i am about to sit for my final exams.. i guess time really flies.. 4th year is coming up, and basically thats my last year of EXAMS because the university is trying to change their modules.. 5th year will be like clinical years.. no more exams just reports and assignments.. its like graduating in 4th year..

4th year being a busy year? guess what? i tried applying a job as a Residential Assistant.. its something like a pengawas job .. where a certain number of 1st years who are staying in college or on campus will be under me.. The college i applied is UniCol and its a nice place.. but i hope i am making a right decision as next year will be a busy year.. i gotta manage my time more better i guess.. I wont get paid but in return i get to get cheap rent plus unlimited electricity and wifi and my own room.. God help me in my decision making.. I hope i can be an influence in Uni Col..

Prayer.. I need more of it.. Gonna make an effort to just sit down or stop what i'm doing and pray pray and pray... Its like Fuel to the soul.. What keeps you going? energy.. same goes to your spiritual being.. prayer means energy..

I guess thats it for this time around...

yours truly,
Amos ignatius susau

Its a 2 way thing..

Love is like a Banking System. 

Good = deposit of love $

bad   = withdrawal of love $

Never let the margins get too wide. Cause for a bank account to run you still need a minimum. 

Get a partner of equal yoke. My own opinion is because you grow together in the word. When there is a dispute, the word of God can be the reference. Because the word of God can be the anchor in your relationship. When u explain something in biblical terms, your partner understands. Proverbs 31:10-31, i wonder if a person unequally yoked would understand it.

Listened to Difference between a man and a woman by Ps Kong. Some say that real men don't shed tears, but a real man still have feelings and would appreciate the fact that he is being admired and adored. Learned a lot listening to the sermon. 

Test on Friday but i couldn't concentrate further in the night. Some of the thoughts were hovering in my mind. I have already committed myself into a relationship that i would fight to keep it going. 

God i still need your wisdom and i cant stand the thought of walking or growing alone in this period of my life. 

I wanna be able to pray with you, wanna be able to say Thank God for his blessings, i wanna be able to sing songs and worship together..

Whatever the circumstances now, I rather shed tears and sacrifice before giving up on this. 

I only have so much in my bank account... I hope you know that.. 

yours truly, 

Amos Ignatius Susau

Caught in a quicksand

I'm attached into IT more than what i expected. 

They say when you have learned to love, then only you would have learned to live.

Today was relatively a very relax day and yeah sometimes when u have nothing to do , you tend to think of all the nonsense. Even if it has nothing to with you. So yeah, some issues of my mind that has nothing to do with me crept up in my mind and how i fought off such thoughts. Hard but i had to. No point worrying bout other peoples Life. 

Try giving this thought.. in a relationship, do u have high expectations in your partner? Are they reasonable? or just ridiculously high? low? haha.. but yeah i was just thinking bout expectations and how to not confuse it with responsibility. What i mean is, in a relationship, you are supposed to share with each other your thoughts because that is the purpose of a relationship - to be able to talk. And never confuse or be pressured to want to tell things because you feel that your partner expects u to share with him or her. Cause if it is obliging to tell your partner because he or she expects it, then i guess something is wrong. I'm not even sure what i am writing about.haha

To love someone means: To accept them the way they are. To trust them and allow them to have a say in what you do. To allow them to correct you when you are wrong even though u don't see it. To be patient even though your fuse is only that long. To be  good listener and to not have an opinionated answers. To listen to them without relating your own situation. To plan about the future plans and to talk about little little things that may sound a bit toooo 'cute'. To think of the next opportunity to surprise the person. To ensure that your partner feels loved. Last but not least is to share the gospel with them...
and the list goes on and on....




Current song: Eternal Salvation by CCC


Tonight will be a good night studying and doing the QT.

Yours truly,
Amos Ignatius Susau

sometimes tears allows you to breathe again..

well i'll be less expectant.. dont think i will ever be good enough for you..
less is more.. but thank you for everything ;)
much appreciated

Amos ignatius Susau

plans? goals? dreams?

What are u gonna be in 5 years time? 10 years? what will you have by then? rich ? poor? blessed? a blessing? Ponder these questions and try to imagine yourself being that person in the future and how you are gonna be..

Whatever the mind can conceive, with much diligent effort and sacrifice and even the blessings from God, you definitely will be able to achieve it.. maybe a little bit more because you are YOU.

Basically i've got nothing much to post up today but just feeling very appreciative of my close friends back in Malaysia. Some friendships made are meant to bring you from here to UP here. Imagine yourself how high and yes thats how high it is ;)

Still trying hard to search for a job here. Most likely a librarian or maybe a Unipol officer. Will try to get the job . haha.. And so yeah my weekend was ok apart from going for random birthday visits and having fun with my classmates. But then again, always be careful of alcohol. I dont understand how people cant control themselves when they are high. I will never reach that stage and thats what i hold dear to. 

Cant wait to go back to KK and some random plans with Koh have been planned out. Looking forward to it and some day , soon i supposed, it will all be solid. hhaha!! SY is back in malaysia too so it will be good catching up with her again. 

thats all i guess for this post.

Yours truly,

Amos Ignatius Susau

Rainbows do appear after a storm..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! well if i were to tell u the story of my week it would be so embarrassing and kinda silly actually .. like yeah i thought the week would start of like any week, starting of like slow and gradually peaking nearing the end but i was wrong!! hahaha.. firstly my patient came in like with a broken old amalgam restoration and was in a bad bad bad mood.. haha.. i was like i have to follow procedures and protocols by first scaling and polishing your tooth and he was like nope i need my 35 done.. so yeah i said ok.. lets do it then.. i had 1 hour.. so i opened up everything and removed all the unnecessary debris in there and i was actually SWEATING in the clinics cause of stress and it was sooo stuffy !! haha.. He told me he used to fight in the German war where they would gather jews and send them to concentration camps. Well of course i was sad that he was part of the holocaust but yeah i hope he will experience God soon =/
but yeah i didnt have time to put a proper restoration and so i had a temp done and CaOH lining cause it was near the pulp.. Well i sent him off and what made my day was when he smiled actually!! He said Thank you with his face beaming and well i booked him in two days to have a proper restoration done. All went well and i was like PHEW, what a case =p

The horrendous week didnt end there but yeah it had stuffs to do with emotions and i think a person shouldnt use their heart to think but their mind too.. and i learned from those mistakes.. Whatever that happened, im sorry it happened, but no more i guess...


My quiet times have been around the book of hebrews these time around and there is one song which i think is one of the most meaningful songs to me.. here is my version of it:

and so it didnt end there.. so i decided to write another song. haha.. well its a worship song and im not what to call it but i chose 'abba father'. so yeah.. here it goes..

and last but not least a random song with weird chord progressions but yeah its still relatively unfinished but im kinda tired so here it is. ' The Love Story'. sounds goofy but its a random funny song ;)

see you soon !!


yours truly,
Amos ignatius Susau

SURRENDER - LINCOLN BREWSTER


I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain 

© 2005 Integrity Music












 

When truth collides..

Have you heard the term there is a season for everything? Well here is the best exapmple; ecclesiastes 3.

For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

So i guess life has been on the go for me and I have told some close friends of mine about my life and things that are happening around me. Its never easy to open up but i guess when u do, it just allows things compressed and hidden to be allowed out and also gives me the chance to breathe again.

In any relationship, the first step is always the hardest. The step to allow someone else into your life and also i think the step to dare to take the chances to start a relationship even though you are not sure if He/She is the one. Then there is this thing that you have to face, the thought of what ifs and what might have been; i guess when you decide to be committed with someone, all these things have to be released and your heart has to be set for that one person and that one person alone. No more distractions and no more going ASTRAY.

So i guess many things will change, and these are things that will make the whole relationship grow. Firstly its the attitude. Really and truly , the attitude of a person determines his altitude. So for the first part of my life, i need to be a bit more understanding, patient, helpful, grateful and less arrogant in some ways. It seems like a whole lot to do but for progress to happen, change is inevitable!! hahaha... Learning everyday though and not giving up to be a better person/brother/son and friend.

Time is flying by like really quickly now. i just have like 3 months plus left before this year ends. Try asking yourself and look back at the goals and resolutions that you have made for this year. How far are you from fulfilling it? A lot? Little? Nevertheless strive towards it !! haha..

Another place to Hide!!

The world of Blogging.. hmmm.. Never came across my mind but i guess why not give it a try..
Spoke to my bandmate/buddy/bestfriend/brother Daniel Koh and he asked me to try blogging as it was a good place to share thoughts and feelings.. so yeah.. I am trying!! hahaha..


Its been 3 months since I arrived in New Zealand and Dentistry is such a fun course to venture into!! No regrets at all but i guess something about the University or the staffs in dental school that re-ignited the passion to pursue my ambition and try to achieve something. Life hasn't been as it was , after secondary school, when i entered into college in Shah Alam, i just lost every passion to study and to do well because of the environment i was in but thank God , He sustained me through all the thick and thins of LIFE.

So back to where i am now, Dunedin , NZ. Well life here is relatively simple, a student city, so basically all that people do here or should i say majority of the folks around STUDY, play SPORTS, and PARTY only!!
The weather here is a bit of a mystery too sometimes, 4 seasons in a day and when the sky decides to be cranky, or even the earth, better run or hide in your home!!

Still a breath-taking place!!

So to the main item of this blog, well life sometimes gets so lonely and mundane here. I guess you can say that in your weakest state you become vulnerable and to be optimistic and patient is the only way to get through these kinda DAYS. You make new Friends and meet new individuals but sometimes you have to be on guard cause they may have an ulterior motive . Gossip is always a pain in the ass and i try to avoid them. Its never easy because if i were to totally run and avoid these people, i would be a hermit and i myself am not perfect, so i guess its just a matter of accepting things and people around you.

Its about 2 months left before i return home to Malaysia and boy am i excited. Gonna see my awesome Family, Abandonation, friends and also attend my cousins wedding which i am quite excited about. Gonna be the official DRIVER!! hahaha.. but yeah many more good stuffs waiting to happen ;)
excited much but i guess now, i just gotta concentrated on what i have to do and be the difference in this place.


the journey is a long one but i know God will guide me!!

yours truly,
Amos Ignatius Susau