Its a 2 way thing..

Love is like a Banking System. 

Good = deposit of love $

bad   = withdrawal of love $

Never let the margins get too wide. Cause for a bank account to run you still need a minimum. 

Get a partner of equal yoke. My own opinion is because you grow together in the word. When there is a dispute, the word of God can be the reference. Because the word of God can be the anchor in your relationship. When u explain something in biblical terms, your partner understands. Proverbs 31:10-31, i wonder if a person unequally yoked would understand it.

Listened to Difference between a man and a woman by Ps Kong. Some say that real men don't shed tears, but a real man still have feelings and would appreciate the fact that he is being admired and adored. Learned a lot listening to the sermon. 

Test on Friday but i couldn't concentrate further in the night. Some of the thoughts were hovering in my mind. I have already committed myself into a relationship that i would fight to keep it going. 

God i still need your wisdom and i cant stand the thought of walking or growing alone in this period of my life. 

I wanna be able to pray with you, wanna be able to say Thank God for his blessings, i wanna be able to sing songs and worship together..

Whatever the circumstances now, I rather shed tears and sacrifice before giving up on this. 

I only have so much in my bank account... I hope you know that.. 

yours truly, 

Amos Ignatius Susau

Caught in a quicksand

I'm attached into IT more than what i expected. 

They say when you have learned to love, then only you would have learned to live.

Today was relatively a very relax day and yeah sometimes when u have nothing to do , you tend to think of all the nonsense. Even if it has nothing to with you. So yeah, some issues of my mind that has nothing to do with me crept up in my mind and how i fought off such thoughts. Hard but i had to. No point worrying bout other peoples Life. 

Try giving this thought.. in a relationship, do u have high expectations in your partner? Are they reasonable? or just ridiculously high? low? haha.. but yeah i was just thinking bout expectations and how to not confuse it with responsibility. What i mean is, in a relationship, you are supposed to share with each other your thoughts because that is the purpose of a relationship - to be able to talk. And never confuse or be pressured to want to tell things because you feel that your partner expects u to share with him or her. Cause if it is obliging to tell your partner because he or she expects it, then i guess something is wrong. I'm not even sure what i am writing about.haha

To love someone means: To accept them the way they are. To trust them and allow them to have a say in what you do. To allow them to correct you when you are wrong even though u don't see it. To be patient even though your fuse is only that long. To be  good listener and to not have an opinionated answers. To listen to them without relating your own situation. To plan about the future plans and to talk about little little things that may sound a bit toooo 'cute'. To think of the next opportunity to surprise the person. To ensure that your partner feels loved. Last but not least is to share the gospel with them...
and the list goes on and on....




Current song: Eternal Salvation by CCC


Tonight will be a good night studying and doing the QT.

Yours truly,
Amos Ignatius Susau

sometimes tears allows you to breathe again..

well i'll be less expectant.. dont think i will ever be good enough for you..
less is more.. but thank you for everything ;)
much appreciated

Amos ignatius Susau

plans? goals? dreams?

What are u gonna be in 5 years time? 10 years? what will you have by then? rich ? poor? blessed? a blessing? Ponder these questions and try to imagine yourself being that person in the future and how you are gonna be..

Whatever the mind can conceive, with much diligent effort and sacrifice and even the blessings from God, you definitely will be able to achieve it.. maybe a little bit more because you are YOU.

Basically i've got nothing much to post up today but just feeling very appreciative of my close friends back in Malaysia. Some friendships made are meant to bring you from here to UP here. Imagine yourself how high and yes thats how high it is ;)

Still trying hard to search for a job here. Most likely a librarian or maybe a Unipol officer. Will try to get the job . haha.. And so yeah my weekend was ok apart from going for random birthday visits and having fun with my classmates. But then again, always be careful of alcohol. I dont understand how people cant control themselves when they are high. I will never reach that stage and thats what i hold dear to. 

Cant wait to go back to KK and some random plans with Koh have been planned out. Looking forward to it and some day , soon i supposed, it will all be solid. hhaha!! SY is back in malaysia too so it will be good catching up with her again. 

thats all i guess for this post.

Yours truly,

Amos Ignatius Susau

Rainbows do appear after a storm..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! well if i were to tell u the story of my week it would be so embarrassing and kinda silly actually .. like yeah i thought the week would start of like any week, starting of like slow and gradually peaking nearing the end but i was wrong!! hahaha.. firstly my patient came in like with a broken old amalgam restoration and was in a bad bad bad mood.. haha.. i was like i have to follow procedures and protocols by first scaling and polishing your tooth and he was like nope i need my 35 done.. so yeah i said ok.. lets do it then.. i had 1 hour.. so i opened up everything and removed all the unnecessary debris in there and i was actually SWEATING in the clinics cause of stress and it was sooo stuffy !! haha.. He told me he used to fight in the German war where they would gather jews and send them to concentration camps. Well of course i was sad that he was part of the holocaust but yeah i hope he will experience God soon =/
but yeah i didnt have time to put a proper restoration and so i had a temp done and CaOH lining cause it was near the pulp.. Well i sent him off and what made my day was when he smiled actually!! He said Thank you with his face beaming and well i booked him in two days to have a proper restoration done. All went well and i was like PHEW, what a case =p

The horrendous week didnt end there but yeah it had stuffs to do with emotions and i think a person shouldnt use their heart to think but their mind too.. and i learned from those mistakes.. Whatever that happened, im sorry it happened, but no more i guess...


My quiet times have been around the book of hebrews these time around and there is one song which i think is one of the most meaningful songs to me.. here is my version of it:

and so it didnt end there.. so i decided to write another song. haha.. well its a worship song and im not what to call it but i chose 'abba father'. so yeah.. here it goes..

and last but not least a random song with weird chord progressions but yeah its still relatively unfinished but im kinda tired so here it is. ' The Love Story'. sounds goofy but its a random funny song ;)

see you soon !!


yours truly,
Amos ignatius Susau

SURRENDER - LINCOLN BREWSTER


I'm giving you my heart, and all that is within
I lay it all down for the sake of you my King
I'm giving you my dreams, I'm laying down my rights
I'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life

And I surrender all to you, all to you
And I surrender all to you, all to you

I'm singing You this song, I'm waiting at the cross
And all the world holds dear, I count it all as loss
For the sake of knowing You for the glory of Your name
To know the lasting joy, even sharing in Your pain 

© 2005 Integrity Music












 

When truth collides..

Have you heard the term there is a season for everything? Well here is the best exapmple; ecclesiastes 3.

For everything there is a season,

a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

So i guess life has been on the go for me and I have told some close friends of mine about my life and things that are happening around me. Its never easy to open up but i guess when u do, it just allows things compressed and hidden to be allowed out and also gives me the chance to breathe again.

In any relationship, the first step is always the hardest. The step to allow someone else into your life and also i think the step to dare to take the chances to start a relationship even though you are not sure if He/She is the one. Then there is this thing that you have to face, the thought of what ifs and what might have been; i guess when you decide to be committed with someone, all these things have to be released and your heart has to be set for that one person and that one person alone. No more distractions and no more going ASTRAY.

So i guess many things will change, and these are things that will make the whole relationship grow. Firstly its the attitude. Really and truly , the attitude of a person determines his altitude. So for the first part of my life, i need to be a bit more understanding, patient, helpful, grateful and less arrogant in some ways. It seems like a whole lot to do but for progress to happen, change is inevitable!! hahaha... Learning everyday though and not giving up to be a better person/brother/son and friend.

Time is flying by like really quickly now. i just have like 3 months plus left before this year ends. Try asking yourself and look back at the goals and resolutions that you have made for this year. How far are you from fulfilling it? A lot? Little? Nevertheless strive towards it !! haha..

Another place to Hide!!

The world of Blogging.. hmmm.. Never came across my mind but i guess why not give it a try..
Spoke to my bandmate/buddy/bestfriend/brother Daniel Koh and he asked me to try blogging as it was a good place to share thoughts and feelings.. so yeah.. I am trying!! hahaha..


Its been 3 months since I arrived in New Zealand and Dentistry is such a fun course to venture into!! No regrets at all but i guess something about the University or the staffs in dental school that re-ignited the passion to pursue my ambition and try to achieve something. Life hasn't been as it was , after secondary school, when i entered into college in Shah Alam, i just lost every passion to study and to do well because of the environment i was in but thank God , He sustained me through all the thick and thins of LIFE.

So back to where i am now, Dunedin , NZ. Well life here is relatively simple, a student city, so basically all that people do here or should i say majority of the folks around STUDY, play SPORTS, and PARTY only!!
The weather here is a bit of a mystery too sometimes, 4 seasons in a day and when the sky decides to be cranky, or even the earth, better run or hide in your home!!

Still a breath-taking place!!

So to the main item of this blog, well life sometimes gets so lonely and mundane here. I guess you can say that in your weakest state you become vulnerable and to be optimistic and patient is the only way to get through these kinda DAYS. You make new Friends and meet new individuals but sometimes you have to be on guard cause they may have an ulterior motive . Gossip is always a pain in the ass and i try to avoid them. Its never easy because if i were to totally run and avoid these people, i would be a hermit and i myself am not perfect, so i guess its just a matter of accepting things and people around you.

Its about 2 months left before i return home to Malaysia and boy am i excited. Gonna see my awesome Family, Abandonation, friends and also attend my cousins wedding which i am quite excited about. Gonna be the official DRIVER!! hahaha.. but yeah many more good stuffs waiting to happen ;)
excited much but i guess now, i just gotta concentrated on what i have to do and be the difference in this place.


the journey is a long one but i know God will guide me!!

yours truly,
Amos Ignatius Susau